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The best relationships red flag list ever

I have a friend from Byron Bay (OK he’s my ex). He’s a total hippie with hair down to his bum (jealous). He’s also a psychologist, so I figured he’d be a good person to ask about getting involved with hippie guys in my town. Or, any guys in my town. Not for me of course, but for my gorgeous single friends (any takers?).

Specifically, I asked him to list some red flags the ladies should watch out for. Here’s what he wrote.

Relationship Red Flags

Anthony: “I really don’t think I have anything to offer, other than trying to remember a few old tired Pia Mellody concepts. But I thought I’d offer a few of the warning signals women ignore:

anyone from Byron, anyone who starts a chat with “I’m from Byron”
anyone you meet online
anyone your friend introduces to you (but doesn’t want themselves)
anyone who used to sleep with one of your friends
anyone who wants to sleep with one of you friends
anyone who is sleeping with one of your friends

anyone who doesn’t get on with his exes
anyone who is still sleeping with, married to, living with his ex
anyone who tells you about all his exes like they’re his references
anyone who doesn’t have any exes that you can verify are still alive

anyone who doesn’t get on with his mum
anyone who takes relationship advice from his mum

anyone who is in a band
anyone who wants to be in a band

anyone who has more grooming products than you
anyone who has longer hair than you
anyone who has more relationship self-help books than you

anyone who is single (obviously, they’re not that great a catch)
anyone who is attached

anyone who doesn’t wear any underwear
anyone who wears your underwear
anyone who still wears Thai pants

anyone with no male friends
anyone with only male friends

anyone you slept with before
anyone you slept with before, that you just slept with again

anyone who wants your help to get over an addiction
anyone who doesn’t want your help to get over an addiction

anyone who doesn’t want a kid
anyone who is jealous of your kid
anyone who still acts like a kid
anyone who is actually a kid
anyone you have a kid with
anyone who has a kid but doesn’t know where they are

anyone who has to borrow money on your first date
anyone with a name their guru gave them
anyone who has to check with their guru about you

anyone who still goes to festivals
anyone who hangs out in the chai tent at festivals
anyone who drinks chai
anyone who lives on a community and has slept with at least 3 women who also live there.

Anyway, gotta go, I’m freezing in these velcro Thai pants.”

Thanks for the heads-up Anth!

12 thoughts on “The best relationships red flag list ever”

  1. This cracked me up, since it pretty much excludes every man – well every man I know, at least!
    Awesome blog, Leigh. Really captures your voice. I wish it great success! Rach x

  2. Louise Finnegan

    Hilarious Leigh. Shannon posted “I Just Released Your Sexual Guilt” on FB which had me laughing my head off! So many of us can relate to these early Hippietown experiences! I remember you when you first rocked into Maleny. Hope you are well and enjoying life and publish some of this as a book!

    Lou

    1. Thanks Louise, glad you enjoyed it. You never know, if the blog takes off I may end up with enough material for a book. Thanks for commenting, Lx

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